I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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