drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
