okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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