i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
