ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
