I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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