she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
