i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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