Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize