i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
