what day is it and did you see me today?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
