hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
