Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
