He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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