i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
