The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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