I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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