I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize