i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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