Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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