omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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