She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize