i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
