I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
