There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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