This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
