That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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