So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize