i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize