And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
