people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
