what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
