I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
