I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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