JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
