hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
