Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
