What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
