I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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