I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
