and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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