Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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