69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's always time for handjobs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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