Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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