i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
