She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
