Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
