Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
