all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize