hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
