I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
