Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
