I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
