Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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