I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
