doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize